He was very injured and we don’t have as many healers and it turns out dying is a pretty effective healing solution, unfortunately, and he didn’t want Shenhe to have to do it?
yes please dont!!!! mannnnnnnn i was really like what if you came back totally different!!!! it could still happen!!! you might be like accumulating little red chips (metaphorically)
He thought he was an alien intent on destroying the human race and tried to stab me but don’t worry it didn’t work, Gnosia can’t kill the bug it just hurt rather a lot and he was very apologetic.
[ no thats okay he did not expect concern she just asked what buzen did after he got embarrassed to talk about it ]
Shenhe used her one “free pass” as soon as I arrived which was a bit more worrying considering no one actually knew we’d come back at the time but it ended up alright I think she didn’t find much satisfaction in it.
She’s really quite distraught I managed to win the first fight and is now claiming I was underhanded and cheated which seems unfair to me considering she was allowed to use her psych as much as she wanted bur somehow when I use mine it’s unsportsmanlike? It’s insulting.
well when everybody said you guys were fighting they made it sound kind of cute like awww they're friends now and they like to fight so it made me happy but this sounds a little different sorry but i really HATE the idea of you being hurt for real
i didnt expect shenhe to not be mad at you or want to fight you for real i mean we killed her!! it makes sense to want to fight you! its not logical to hate her for it but part of me is really pissed off right now you dont seem mad but are you not mad because it didnt matter or because you think you deserved it? BECAUSE THAT'S THE PART I REALLY HATE HOW COME ONLY SOME PEOPLE DESERVE TO GET HURT AND SUFFER? ITS SO FUCKED UP AND WRONG I HATE IT I HJTE IT I HATE IT
[fine she'll concentrate. she's at the warehouse i guess because this thread started concurrently with the haru one? well. whatever. it's not concurrent anymore, it was text so who knows how long it was going on.
anyway she's not running off to do something reckless. what would that even be. she's just BIG MAD. she's been trying hard not to be, to hold all of these super conflicting feelings and loyalties and contradictions in her head and be okay with them. she saw livio decide to be kind to kyoko and decided that revenge is kind of dumb.
but there is only so long she can force herself to stay a nice girl with an understanding heart when there is a part of herself that is so, so angry and the point of all of that anger and violence she has in her is supposed to be for protecting people she isn't even able to do anything for?]
[ hate that we decided the froggystyle warehouse overlaps shibuyas lingerie store because now gerard has to go crouch amongst the bras again to talk to her but it’s okay he will suffer through this for her. ]
I’m allowed to have some time to consider my answer to your existential questions!
[ GEEZ ]
… Anyway, I don’t think I deserved it.
And at the time maybe I did think that, but I don’t anymore.
I think you’re right, that it’s kind of a strange line to try and figure out who deserves pain and suffering and who doesn’t. But as soon as it was done, she came to me and said she regretted it, that revenge doesn’t help or make anyone feel better especially considering I was already contrite and I agreed and we were able to put it behind us. I can take care of myself around these people, and they really are good people. We’re all sort of learning to navigate deeply illogical waters.
I think if you want to be angry with her you can. We’ve- or at least I’ve heard quite a bit about how people are entitled to their anger and emotions, and I think it’s only fair that you are afforded the same grace. But I don’t think you need to be, at least not on my behalf. I’m okay. Really.
[...this does help, actually. enough for her to cool off. she's not even mad at shenhe, really. she's just mad at the idea of gerard, immediately after she had to go through killing him and trying to do it in whatever way would hurt him least, to picture it happening again without her there. it just feels gross and unfair.]
...If I'd died and you were alive, they wouldn't have killed me. They'd have felt too bad. But if they had tried, it would have gone badly for them.
[ that much is probably true, though he had spoken to lambda enough now to think that actually she might enforce this rule even on ylfa but probably most wouldn’t. ]
It would have, you’re very strong. [ … He doesn’t think he should say this next bit either but. ] There was talk of when Simon arrived he might seek revenge and I should consider accepting it, but I’ll be honest that I had no desire to let him hurt me for his own purposes and I really disliked the idea of simply laying down and letting him.
That's stupid. If he wants to try to kill me, he can.
[he can try. anyway she's less mad about the simon thing, since he didn't even do it, than she is at the idea he would have had to just agree to that.]
...I talked to him yesterday. I feel really bad about it all but also I kind of hate him! He kept going on about how it's my fault he killed Fukuzawa so he'd look sympathetic or something and my fault Setsu threw his monkey into lava and my fault Livio and Amelia stopped trusting him. Auuuugh! He doesn't get to kill you too and then be like, it's your fault I did that!
He absolutely cannot and I certainly won’t stand by if he does?
[ ylfa can be all tough but its still fucking gerard up for him to even try it. ]
I don’t think he wants to feel any guilt about it. It’s easier to blame all of us. Maybe it is our faults on some level, but he still made his own choices.
I'd apologize to Yuzuriha, and Netzach, and Livio for that, and I did, and none of them would accept my apology. I'm sure not going to apologize to him for what he did.
[anyway, making a face at that.]
See, you say you wouldn't accept it, but I have to accept stuff? I know things are weird here, but we're about to go back home and if you keep forgetting how things work you're going to get killed by the princesses really fast when you try to fight them all at once instead of letting me do it.
Tell everybody that I'll let stuff go that already happened but if anybody there hurts you again they're going to have to deal with me, too. [don't tell anybody this. it's such a bad idea.] Unless it's just friendly or something or an accident, but you have to be honest with me about that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He was very injured and we don’t have as many healers and it turns out dying is a pretty effective healing solution, unfortunately, and he didn’t want Shenhe to have to do it?
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[does it????]
so you guys can just die a bunch? and it doesnt like, make it harder to bring you back for us or anything?
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Not that I’ve been trying to die more than necessary.
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mannnnnnnn
i was really like
what if you came back totally different!!!!
it could still happen!!!
you might be like
accumulating little red chips (metaphorically)
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Only one red chip, I don’t think that’s that bad, right? And I mean, I didn’t die when Buzen
nevermind
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He thought he was an alien intent on destroying the human race and tried to stab me but don’t worry it didn’t work, Gnosia can’t kill the bug it just hurt rather a lot and he was very apologetic.
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[be more concerned!!]
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Shenhe used her one “free pass” as soon as I arrived which was a bit more worrying considering no one actually knew we’d come back at the time but it ended up alright I think she didn’t find much satisfaction in it.
She’s really quite distraught I managed to win the first fight and is now claiming I was underhanded and cheated which seems unfair to me considering she was allowed to use her psych as much as she wanted bur somehow when I use mine it’s unsportsmanlike? It’s insulting.
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making her feel a certain way and maybe shouldn't have been mentioned to her
she's made up with shenhe and now she feels very bad and complicated hearing this
like she can't exactly blame her for killing him back that seems fair enough but also
very very bad to think that he could have just died and not come back.
she'll just express these complicated feelings eloquently]
well that SUCKS
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It doesn’t not suck.
But it’s alright. We have both learned some lessons and are better friends for it?
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when everybody said you guys were fighting they made it sound kind of cute
like awww they're friends now and they like to fight
so it made me happy
but this sounds a little different
sorry but i really HATE the idea of you being hurt for real
i didnt expect shenhe to not be mad at you or want to fight you for real
i mean we killed her!! it makes sense to want to fight you!
its not logical to hate her for it but
part of me is really pissed off right now
you dont seem mad but are you not mad because it didnt matter or because
you think you deserved it?
BECAUSE THAT'S THE PART I REALLY HATE
HOW COME ONLY SOME PEOPLE DESERVE TO GET HURT AND SUFFER?
ITS SO FUCKED UP AND WRONG
I HATE IT I HJTE IT I HATE IT
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uh oh ]
Stay where you are and concentrate for a bit, alright? I’ll come find you.
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anyway she's not running off to do something reckless. what would that even be. she's just BIG MAD. she's been trying hard not to be, to hold all of these super conflicting feelings and loyalties and contradictions in her head and be okay with them. she saw livio decide to be kind to kyoko and decided that revenge is kind of dumb.
but there is only so long she can force herself to stay a nice girl with an understanding heart when there is a part of herself that is so, so angry and the point of all of that anger and violence she has in her is supposed to be for protecting people she isn't even able to do anything for?]
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Hey Ylfa.
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[bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh even the sight of him crouched under bras does not improve her mood.]
You didn't even answer anything I said, you just said "I'll be there" and then said "Hey."
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I’m allowed to have some time to consider my answer to your existential questions!
[ GEEZ ]
… Anyway, I don’t think I deserved it.
And at the time maybe I did think that, but I don’t anymore.
I think you’re right, that it’s kind of a strange line to try and figure out who deserves pain and suffering and who doesn’t. But as soon as it was done, she came to me and said she regretted it, that revenge doesn’t help or make anyone feel better especially considering I was already contrite and I agreed and we were able to put it behind us. I can take care of myself around these people, and they really are good people. We’re all sort of learning to navigate deeply illogical waters.
I think if you want to be angry with her you can. We’ve- or at least I’ve heard quite a bit about how people are entitled to their anger and emotions, and I think it’s only fair that you are afforded the same grace. But I don’t think you need to be, at least not on my behalf. I’m okay. Really.
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...If I'd died and you were alive, they wouldn't have killed me. They'd have felt too bad. But if they had tried, it would have gone badly for them.
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It would have, you’re very strong. [ … He doesn’t think he should say this next bit either but. ] There was talk of when Simon arrived he might seek revenge and I should consider accepting it, but I’ll be honest that I had no desire to let him hurt me for his own purposes and I really disliked the idea of simply laying down and letting him.
He didn’t try, for what it’s worth.
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Nothing happened! And to be fair, I wanted to tell Simon it was me. We can have discussions on responsibilities and all but also he is unhinged.
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[he can try. anyway she's less mad about the simon thing, since he didn't even do it, than she is at the idea he would have had to just agree to that.]
...I talked to him yesterday. I feel really bad about it all but also I kind of hate him! He kept going on about how it's my fault he killed Fukuzawa so he'd look sympathetic or something and my fault Setsu threw his monkey into lava and my fault Livio and Amelia stopped trusting him. Auuuugh! He doesn't get to kill you too and then be like, it's your fault I did that!
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[ ylfa can be all tough but its still fucking gerard up for him to even try it. ]
I don’t think he wants to feel any guilt about it. It’s easier to blame all of us. Maybe it is our faults on some level, but he still made his own choices.
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[anyway, making a face at that.]
See, you say you wouldn't accept it, but I have to accept stuff? I know things are weird here, but we're about to go back home and if you keep forgetting how things work you're going to get killed by the princesses really fast when you try to fight them all at once instead of letting me do it.
Tell everybody that I'll let stuff go that already happened but if anybody there hurts you again they're going to have to deal with me, too. [don't tell anybody this. it's such a bad idea.] Unless it's just friendly or something or an accident, but you have to be honest with me about that.
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