[ awkward. he's sitting there a bit quietly. its not like he wants to force her to talk about it, and he's getting the impression she'd rather be alone and is, in fact, afraid of him right now. ]
I can leave you be for a while if that's what you want. I don't ... really want to. But I can.
[cool. she will pass him his deck of cards. i have tried to learn the rules and i also don't understand, so they can just play in silence for a little bit.]
Um... I think Monika might know about the Arthurs.
[don't say their name? ylfa never cared that much before but she kind of does now.]
Um, anyway, I think Monika's life is maybe pretty bad and we should help her. So can we try? I killed her friend, so she's not going to want to listen to me, but if we can do something...
I spoke to him, and saw him. [she hunches a little, obviously feeling very ashamed right now.] And we were together, but then he started - he had water and poison in his lungs and everything I tried to do, I only made it worse. So I tried something to help him but it wound up working differently than it was supposed to, and he was left behind.
[she looks at him like she's trying to find something in his face or his expression, but whatever she's looking for, she doesn't seem to see it. at least, he can see that she immediately looks withdrawn, a bit wary.]
...Nevermind. It wasn't really that bad, anyway. It was mostly baking.
I mean, sure, I suppose you could probably summarize it that way, like mine was mostly a driving lesson.
[ me, struggling to think of how this duck helps. maybe it waddles over, quacks loudly and then looks extremely fucking adorable. how can ylfa possibly not talk about her feelings when there's a really cute duck here. ]
[...she does look at the cute little duck. it is adorable. that doesn't help so much. but when she looks back over and looks at him again and seems to see whatever it was she was missing before.
at least, he seems like he cares. he seems like he is actually worried, even when she says it's fine. that he can tell just by looking at her that something bad happened to her, even if she hasn't said it. that's the thing she needed to see.]
I know not everything that happens in there is real, but the same thing is true out here. Most of these people aren't real at all. They're just saying the things they're supposed to say.
I'm definitely real! I don't even know what I'm supposed to be saying here, you know. If I was supposed to be saying something, it'd probably be working better.
[she's decided that he is maybe real, which is better than possibly or definitely not.]
Most of the people aren't, though. They're just going "Hey, Ylfa. Thursday, whew, that's bad. Did you get healed? So what happened, anyway. I brought you some treats."
Anyway, Rin seemed way, way more real than them, or you. And I left him there, and he's going to be all alone there, and it's horrible to be alone with nothing but fake people.
[ well that is probably true that they are all saying those things. ]
[ does it help the impression that gerard is real when he looks slightly insulted that ylfa thinks rin is more real than him. i guess that is probably what gerard would normally do. ]
I think sometimes people just don't know what to say, so they try and ask about healing or treats instead.
[ ... ]
But you're here. And we're going to go back for him, even if he is stuck somewhere.
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No. You should stay here for tonight. Can I find someone else to heal you?
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there's something extremely fearful that passes over her face for a second, but then it's gone.]
Yeah, I'll stay here. But I really don't think it's necessary to get healed tonight. I'll ask tomorrow.
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[ awkward. he's sitting there a bit quietly. its not like he wants to force her to talk about it, and he's getting the impression she'd rather be alone and is, in fact, afraid of him right now. ]
I can leave you be for a while if that's what you want. I don't ... really want to. But I can.
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[ ... ]
Do you want to play cards?
[ dont you have a murder to plan gerard ]
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Cards is okay. You understand the rules, right?
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[ i feel like ylfa has probably tried to teach him like three times and he only sort of absorbs it each time but that's okay. ]
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Um... I think Monika might know about the Arthurs.
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The authors, you mean? What about them?
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[don't say their name? ylfa never cared that much before but she kind of does now.]
Um, anyway, I think Monika's life is maybe pretty bad and we should help her. So can we try? I killed her friend, so she's not going to want to listen to me, but if we can do something...
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I mean, we can try. Were in you in Monika's story?
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[she is currently wearing a school uniform, sans blazer, that looks a lot like monika's.]
...Gerard, if I tell you something, will you keep it a secret from Haru?
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[ this feels like one of those promises thats going to get him in trouble. ]
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Rin was there, too. And I left him behind. I tried to go back and get him, I really did, but I couldn't find a way.
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You spoke to him? Or just saw him?
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[ he knows she thinks she hurt rin, but he doesn't want her to think that. ]
I'm sure you tried very hard. But I think it wants to hurt you.
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How do you know? How do you know for sure that wasn't the real Rin?
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[ ... ]
It doesn't change the fact we're still working to save him, right? It ... I'm sure it was horrible. I'm sorry.
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...Nevermind. It wasn't really that bad, anyway. It was mostly baking.
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[ me, struggling to think of how this duck helps. maybe it waddles over, quacks loudly and then looks extremely fucking adorable. how can ylfa possibly not talk about her feelings when there's a really cute duck here. ]
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at least, he seems like he cares. he seems like he is actually worried, even when she says it's fine. that he can tell just by looking at her that something bad happened to her, even if she hasn't said it. that's the thing she needed to see.]
I know not everything that happens in there is real, but the same thing is true out here. Most of these people aren't real at all. They're just saying the things they're supposed to say.
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I'm definitely real! I don't even know what I'm supposed to be saying here, you know. If I was supposed to be saying something, it'd probably be working better.
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[she's decided that he is maybe real, which is better than possibly or definitely not.]
Most of the people aren't, though. They're just going "Hey, Ylfa. Thursday, whew, that's bad. Did you get healed? So what happened, anyway. I brought you some treats."
Anyway, Rin seemed way, way more real than them, or you. And I left him there, and he's going to be all alone there, and it's horrible to be alone with nothing but fake people.
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[ does it help the impression that gerard is real when he looks slightly insulted that ylfa thinks rin is more real than him. i guess that is probably what gerard would normally do. ]
I think sometimes people just don't know what to say, so they try and ask about healing or treats instead.
[ ... ]
But you're here. And we're going to go back for him, even if he is stuck somewhere.
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