[It's funny because he doesn't dislike Gerard or anything, he just dislikes the whole situation with Simon and that he can't go clobber the guy himself to knock some sense into him.]
He's made bad choices and it's fine to say that. Denying his actions won't help him.
I don't blame her for the situation she found herself in. We've all been put in a place where we have to make awful choices. But I do expect her to take responsibility for those choices when it's time to.
[ he always struggles a bit, articulating himself when it comes to these things. ]
She takes responsibility. She takes responsibility for everything, all the time. The reason she's doing this in the first place is because she felt responsible for Rin, for Haru, for Buzen and Matsui, for me. For the fucking world not ending. She's 12. She's a little girl. She-- [ he feels a little bad, telling her story for her, not sure it's his to share. ] I think maybe she has enough.
So maybe just let her not carry this too. If you need someone to blame, I'll take it. That's my responsibility.
[He listens, and...he really does have a soft spot for kids. It's his one weakness.]
Any team could have done it, so long as one team did all the killing. Why put it on her? Why not pull in a team like Shenhe's, most of them have fighting experience. And they're all adults, and better at handling this kind of pressure.
I understand why you want to protect her, but it feels like you put a lot of pressure on her in the first place.
[ well his expression goes a little ?????? for a second but after a bit. ]
Erm. You know that we didn't plan to both kill on the same week, right? I knew she was thinking about it, but I was really trying to beat her to the punch on it. It was a really fun surprise on Friday for the both of us. I was going to act on my own, because I didn't want to put anything on her?
... Also I realize this paints an ugly picture of my moral fiber and whatnot, but I mostly didn't pull in another team because at the time, we didn't know about reviving other teams and I wanted my team to win? The information on that comes in on Fridays.
[For a moment he looks like he has Things to say about that. But eventually he just sighs.]
If you're looking for some sort of blanket forgiveness for your team's actions, then you're asking the wrong person.
...why ARE you asking me in the first place? It's not like I have any control over how things will go with how severely outvoted I've been, nor am I malicious enough to cause problems for you or your team anyway. I would have expected you to talk to the people you killed instead.
And I certainly don't think you're malicious. I just heard you speaking to the others, about why you were angry with her, and I thought it might be best talk about it. You can be angry, if you want to be.
[Gerard will catch Fukuzawa in a rare moment between conversations, where he's away from people and not putting up his strong facade. He's leaning against a railing somewhere, rubbing at his forehead, looking weary.
His thoughts are projecting too but it's a big ball of negative energy and grumbling. He knew the conversations today were going to be hard, but even with preparations he still wasn't ready for them.
He does not see Gerard yet, so Gerard can approach before he throws his defenses back up.]
[ he is gonna be kinda cautious about this because he doesn't want to actually upset him or make him jumpy, so. approaching carefully!! like you would a shy animal. ]
[He's not immediately on his guard or anything. But he pinches the bridge of his nose and forces all of his negative emotions back down into him. He doesn't like anyone seeing how honestly troubled he is by everything, he doesn't want to burden anyone with that.]
Are the new arrivals getting acclimated?
[He basically peeked in and then fucked off because the negatives vibes were strong.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
W5 - TUESDAY? WEDNESDAY? TIME ISN'T REAL
I know you care about Simon a great deal. I don't think he's a bad person, either.
what even is time
He's made bad choices and it's fine to say that. Denying his actions won't help him.
no subject
no subject
[His messed up skrunkly...this is going to take so much therapy.]
But thank you. I know it's probably foolish of me, but I do want to help him.
no subject
[ skrunkly ....... ]
Just, um. Don't blame Ylfa for what happened. Maybe it is a little, on some level, but-- I don't know. She'll take it hard.
no subject
no subject
[ he always struggles a bit, articulating himself when it comes to these things. ]
She takes responsibility. She takes responsibility for everything, all the time. The reason she's doing this in the first place is because she felt responsible for Rin, for Haru, for Buzen and Matsui, for me. For the fucking world not ending. She's 12. She's a little girl. She-- [ he feels a little bad, telling her story for her, not sure it's his to share. ] I think maybe she has enough.
So maybe just let her not carry this too. If you need someone to blame, I'll take it. That's my responsibility.
no subject
Any team could have done it, so long as one team did all the killing. Why put it on her? Why not pull in a team like Shenhe's, most of them have fighting experience. And they're all adults, and better at handling this kind of pressure.
I understand why you want to protect her, but it feels like you put a lot of pressure on her in the first place.
no subject
Erm. You know that we didn't plan to both kill on the same week, right? I knew she was thinking about it, but I was really trying to beat her to the punch on it. It was a really fun surprise on Friday for the both of us. I was going to act on my own, because I didn't want to put anything on her?
... Also I realize this paints an ugly picture of my moral fiber and whatnot, but I mostly didn't pull in another team because at the time, we didn't know about reviving other teams and I wanted my team to win? The information on that comes in on Fridays.
no subject
If you're looking for some sort of blanket forgiveness for your team's actions, then you're asking the wrong person.
...why ARE you asking me in the first place? It's not like I have any control over how things will go with how severely outvoted I've been, nor am I malicious enough to cause problems for you or your team anyway. I would have expected you to talk to the people you killed instead.
no subject
[ he really doesn't want that, actually. ]
And I certainly don't think you're malicious. I just heard you speaking to the others, about why you were angry with her, and I thought it might be best talk about it. You can be angry, if you want to be.
no subject
What do you want me to say then? My reasonings for why I'm angry? If you heard me speaking to the others, then you probably already heard it.
no subject
I’m not looking for anything, Fukuzawa.
Week 6, Sunday
His thoughts are projecting too but it's a big ball of negative energy and grumbling. He knew the conversations today were going to be hard, but even with preparations he still wasn't ready for them.
He does not see Gerard yet, so Gerard can approach before he throws his defenses back up.]
no subject
Fukuzawa.
no subject
[He's not immediately on his guard or anything. But he pinches the bridge of his nose and forces all of his negative emotions back down into him. He doesn't like anyone seeing how honestly troubled he is by everything, he doesn't want to burden anyone with that.]
Are the new arrivals getting acclimated?
[He basically peeked in and then fucked off because the negatives vibes were strong.]
no subject
[ everyone is so chaotic that it's hard to keep track, honestly. ]
It's hard to tell. People arrive and immediately get surrounded, so surely they must be.
no subject
[There's always someone to look after the others. As depressing as it is to be dead, they at least have that.]
What brings you all the way over here?