The truth can be-- a complicated thing to know, sometimes. But I won't say that I don't appreciate you telling me. You kept telling me, over and over, even if I did not want to believe what was frankly quite obvious.
his eyes widen at that and he's so quick to shake his head, the expression on his face turning to one that can only be called heartbroken]
Ge-san, please don't—I... I failed in a lot of places.
[and the emotion in clear in his voice before he goes to bend at the waist, bowing his head so deeply and obscuring his expression]
I knew. Since yesterday - but the rule says you can't make trial easy but... if it was just me, just my team, I would've broken it anyway but—it doesn't say that. So I couldn't. I wanted to say something, I tried to say something—
But I... wasn't good at it. I couldn't find the way to say it for so long, and it was still so frustrating for everyone. I'm so sorry.
... I don't think I can judge any failure to act. For a long time in my life, I did nothing as well. Stood by and let others do the work, take on the difficult and the terrifying work while I pretended it wasn't anything I needed to be concerned with. It's why I'm-- like this, in the end.
So, it sounds to me as if you tried. That is all anyone can ask.
[he looks so torn still - so upset at the idea of gerard not chewing him out. but he'll look up at that, worried and confused.]
... Ge-san, I don't...
[he'll reach out to touch gerard - slowly, like he's not sure, and giving gerard the option to pull away if he doesn't want a hand on his shoulder]
... Are you sure? I really feel like - I'd understand, if you want to be angry. I know how much you care about your team. I know that they're kids in your care.
Of course I'm angry. I'm-- So very angry. But not at you. Why bother? I suppose I'm angry with this place. With myself, for not catching onto it sooner. I'm a fool.
[ he doesn't exactly mind the hand but he's not entirely sure about it either, so he doesn't react much to it either way. ]
I think-- I guess I just think it should have been someone else here. Any of the others would have figured out something by now, I'm sure. Timothy or Rosamund would look out for them, Pinocchio and Pib are more clever by half.
... Elody is stronger and braver by far. But she's not here. So I'm the best they've got, and it's not very good.
[oh. his expression softens - and he nods, in understanding]
.... Kotegiri would've figured out a better way to say it. Matsu too, if he wasn't so hurt because of Thursday. All the other Gous are way smarter than me, and a ton more clever. I don't wish they were here, but I wish I picked up more from them.
But I don't think you're a fool, Ge-san. I think that you worked really hard, and investigated a lot of things for the people that you care about. And even if you think that what you didn't wasn't very good...
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
W1 - SATURDAY
... You told me, about the vision you were seeing. First thing.
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I did, because I saw it. That was true, Ge-san.
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The truth can be-- a complicated thing to know, sometimes. But I won't say that I don't appreciate you telling me. You kept telling me, over and over, even if I did not want to believe what was frankly quite obvious.
So I owe you some gratitude.
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oh no
his eyes widen at that and he's so quick to shake his head, the expression on his face turning to one that can only be called heartbroken]
Ge-san, please don't—I... I failed in a lot of places.
[and the emotion in clear in his voice before he goes to bend at the waist, bowing his head so deeply and obscuring his expression]
I knew. Since yesterday - but the rule says you can't make trial easy but... if it was just me, just my team, I would've broken it anyway but—it doesn't say that. So I couldn't. I wanted to say something, I tried to say something—
But I... wasn't good at it. I couldn't find the way to say it for so long, and it was still so frustrating for everyone. I'm so sorry.
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So, it sounds to me as if you tried. That is all anyone can ask.
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... Ge-san, I don't...
[he'll reach out to touch gerard - slowly, like he's not sure, and giving gerard the option to pull away if he doesn't want a hand on his shoulder]
... Are you sure? I really feel like - I'd understand, if you want to be angry. I know how much you care about your team. I know that they're kids in your care.
no subject
[ he doesn't exactly mind the hand but he's not entirely sure about it either, so he doesn't react much to it either way. ]
I think-- I guess I just think it should have been someone else here. Any of the others would have figured out something by now, I'm sure. Timothy or Rosamund would look out for them, Pinocchio and Pib are more clever by half.
... Elody is stronger and braver by far. But she's not here. So I'm the best they've got, and it's not very good.
no subject
.... Kotegiri would've figured out a better way to say it. Matsu too, if he wasn't so hurt because of Thursday. All the other Gous are way smarter than me, and a ton more clever. I don't wish they were here, but I wish I picked up more from them.
But I don't think you're a fool, Ge-san. I think that you worked really hard, and investigated a lot of things for the people that you care about. And even if you think that what you didn't wasn't very good...
I think sometimes, you're still what we need.