[listen she may be extremely brave but she has experienced terror before she's not that clueless.]
i know it wasnt the letters fault exactly but you guys said some stuff in there that was really sort of like whew oof ouch yikes woof geez louise y'know? but it wasnt you i know i wasnt you i wish youd just labeled your part GERARDS PART so it would be easy to find and i would have only read that and ignored some of those other things
hey so is nightingale good or bad because while we were traveling around we saw a memory where ruby was talking to nightingale and being like "i cant keep waiting for things to get better" i wasnt sure what to make of it.
It wasn't exactly a planned writing exercise, unfortunately. We didn't even physically write it, it was more a shouting match that occurred entirely in our heads the moment after we watched you all be erased, and I think the general sense of panic is ... obvious. Getting heard at all amongst the noise was a challenge. But I should have done a better job of separating my thoughts from the crowd.
I don't know about Nightingale.
[ he really doesn't. ]
I don't know that I have a good sense of good or bad anymore, Ylfa. So I don't know if it's fair for me to answer the question.
I think Ruby is probably correct on some things. That waiting for incremental change in a clearly destructive system is both maddening and misery-inducing. That the ways provided for her to see a path forward have slowly closed one by one and those in charge of this place - including Nightingale - aren't as effective as they want or could be. They have left her to drown in shallow water and stand on the shore and argue about the exact angle to throw the rope.
I don't know that she's right that the only answer to being depressed about your circumstances is to erase the Universe. It hasn't worked for you, it hasn't worked for me, it will hopefully not work for the Daughters of the Crown, and Ruby herself has no right to decide that we should also find the rules of this game unbearable and that continuing to endure suffering is somehow worse than complete oblivion. It's not. Suffering can end. Things can be made better. Destroying everything and flipping over the game board when you are losing can't be the answer.
I don't know that they are bad. I don't know that they are good. They want change, and it sounds as if it is for the better. The forces that oppose that change have a lot of power.
I want the ending we have worked to earn. I want to go home.
no no dont be sorry im sorry im just whining im sorry gerard you did a good job sorry its dumb i got really worried about a lot of things that didnt even happen
everything you just said was really great though wow i meant more if you trusted them i think than a philosophical question but wow!!!
I guess I would have said the same thing. I don't know if I trust them but I trust them more than Ruby who seems a hair unhinged. So they are the horse I am tying my so-called cart to. Better?
yes thats good to hear but also no!! because i really liked that stuff you said too i was thinking theres just no way id ever convince ruby not to blow us up because i cant explain why shes wrong my argument would just be "i would like to not be blown up please we did so much to go home i'm so tired please stop." but i wouldnt be able to explain why these games were fair or should be allowed to continue or why someone shouldnt just destroy it so it cant happen
i think we probably wont be able to stop ruby by talking to her but if its possible we should still try and maybe all of those things will work
I personally feel as if I would like not to be blown up and I am tired to be perfectly valid arguments.
And we can certainly try and I will support you, but unfortunately I could not even convince my wife to not blow up the universe so I think I'm going to hedge my optimism.
well maybe you should say all that cool stuff to her unless that was a speech you were already practicing
i just feel bad about it because even if shes unhinged i do like her 😔 she never really let me in but sometimes when we talked it was obvious she was worrying a lot about the right thing to do... i think maybe what shes thinking is in part the idea of erasing our worlds is what really bothered her most and that she thinks she can stop THAT from happening by sacrificing us because she asked me about that one time if i had to choose between saving the people or their worlds what would i do
I know we spoke about going to try and speak to them again, but honestly no, I have no planned speech. Though maybe I should. I don't know, I think I tried that last time and my planned little speech went over quite terribly.
a planned speech does kind of give the wrong impression but i liked what you said about it
um well she was immediately like ‘actually you don’t have to answer that’ but i was pretty scared she was asking because if we won we would have to answer that
but i did say id save the people because i was trying to be honest and i can’t even imagine trying to leave everybody dead to just save something i can barely get my head around existing…
and also i think i said it would be weird to make that decision for other people if they want to die for their world that’s not up to me
actually me and ruby talked once about how the reapers above her are like they havent been regular people for a long time so they dont think of people in the same way and care less about them individually so even ones that arent horrible can still be really awful and weird it reminded me a little of the fairies...
ruby didnt like that either and i think she thinks shes not being that but she is shes taking away our ending from all of us because she decided hers is better maybe she has to deal with that i definitely dont think going in there like "we love you no matter what ruby" is the way to convince her at least oof
sorry i keep talking like we're going to convince her even though everybody keeps saying dont get your hopes up about that I KNOW I KNOW
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no subject
[listen she may be extremely brave but she has experienced terror before she's not that clueless.]
i know it wasnt the letters fault exactly but you guys said some stuff in there
that was really sort of like
whew oof ouch yikes woof geez louise
y'know?
but it wasnt you i know i wasnt you
i wish youd just labeled your part GERARDS PART
so it would be easy to find and i would have only read that
and ignored some of those other things
hey so is nightingale good or bad
because while we were traveling around we saw a memory where ruby was talking to nightingale
and being like "i cant keep waiting for things to get better"
i wasnt sure what to make of it.
no subject
I don't know about Nightingale.
[ he really doesn't. ]
I don't know that I have a good sense of good or bad anymore, Ylfa. So I don't know if it's fair for me to answer the question.
I think Ruby is probably correct on some things. That waiting for incremental change in a clearly destructive system is both maddening and misery-inducing. That the ways provided for her to see a path forward have slowly closed one by one and those in charge of this place - including Nightingale - aren't as effective as they want or could be. They have left her to drown in shallow water and stand on the shore and argue about the exact angle to throw the rope.
I don't know that she's right that the only answer to being depressed about your circumstances is to erase the Universe. It hasn't worked for you, it hasn't worked for me, it will hopefully not work for the Daughters of the Crown, and Ruby herself has no right to decide that we should also find the rules of this game unbearable and that continuing to endure suffering is somehow worse than complete oblivion. It's not. Suffering can end. Things can be made better. Destroying everything and flipping over the game board when you are losing can't be the answer.
I don't know that they are bad. I don't know that they are good. They want change, and it sounds as if it is for the better. The forces that oppose that change have a lot of power.
I want the ending we have worked to earn. I want to go home.
no subject
no dont be sorry
im sorry im just whining
im sorry gerard you did a good job
sorry its dumb i got really worried about a lot of things that didnt even happen
everything you just said was really great though
wow
i meant more if you trusted them i think than a philosophical question
but wow!!!
no subject
oh. sorry.
I guess I would have said the same thing. I don't know if I trust them but I trust them more than Ruby who seems a hair unhinged. So they are the horse I am tying my so-called cart to. Better?
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no!!
because i really liked that stuff you said too
i was thinking
theres just no way id ever convince ruby not to blow us up because
i cant explain why shes wrong
my argument would just be
"i would like to not be blown up please we did so much to go home i'm so tired please stop."
but i wouldnt be able to explain why these games were fair or should be allowed to continue or why someone shouldnt just destroy it so it cant happen
i think we probably wont be able to stop ruby by talking to her but
if its possible we should still try and
maybe all of those things will work
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And we can certainly try and I will support you, but unfortunately I could not even convince my wife to not blow up the universe so I think I'm going to hedge my optimism.
But we can try.
I would prefer to speak to her too.
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unless that was a speech you were already practicing
i just feel bad about it because
even if shes unhinged i do like her 😔
she never really let me in but sometimes when we talked
it was obvious she was worrying a lot about the right thing to do...
i think maybe what shes thinking is in part
the idea of erasing our worlds is what really bothered her most
and that she thinks she can stop THAT from happening by sacrificing us
because she asked me about that one time
if i had to choose between saving the people or their worlds what would i do
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Well? What did you answer.
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i liked what you said about it
um well she was immediately like ‘actually you don’t have to answer that’ but i was pretty scared she was asking because if we won we would have to answer that
but i did say id save the people because i was trying to be honest and i can’t even imagine trying to leave everybody dead to just save something i can barely get my head around existing…
and also i think i said it would be weird to make that decision for other people if they want to die for their world that’s not up to me
which is the important thing RUBY
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no subject
me and ruby talked once about how the reapers above her are like
they havent been regular people for a long time so they dont think of people in the same way
and care less about them individually
so even ones that arent horrible can still be really awful and weird
it reminded me a little of the fairies...
ruby didnt like that either and i think she thinks shes not being that but
she is
shes taking away our ending from all of us because she decided hers is better
maybe she has to deal with that
i definitely dont think going in there like "we love you no matter what ruby" is the way to convince her at least
oof
sorry i keep talking like we're going to convince her
even though everybody keeps saying dont get your hopes up about that
I KNOW I KNOW