[ he gets that. its the sort of thing he'd wished he'd had, all those years ago. and he's not good at it necessarily. he gets making mistakes. getting caught, or not saying the right things. still not being brave enough. but trying is better than nothing.
he feels terrible that he has to leave now, and there's really nothing he can do about it. it's why everyone who's ever told him that surely they'll find a loophole, some special way they just hadn't thought of, just looks meek and afraid to him. he gets it. he was the same way, once upon a time. it's trying desperately to find a reason that you don't have to try so hard for yourself.
[this is still so hard, but they decided a long time ago to make it. maybe the fact that they decided to fight for themselves was selfish and maybe it wasn't, but the decision was made and it's too late to take it back. they'll save others, too, if they can, but she isn't leaving her without her team. she's just not. she'd rather be erased.]
...Still. If we have to not see each other for a while, I love you. Thanks for being my friend.
[friend isn't really all there is too it, but it's not an insignificant part, either.]
he doesn't regret the decision. it was better this way. if the heron is going to snap your spine and swallow you whole, it's better to go out facing it than cowering. at least then you see it coming. and she's right. they'll either all come back, or all be erased together. no half measures. ]
I love you too, Red. Thank you for being my friend.
[ it feels ridiculous that true love is somehow only seen as romantic love, when this feels as true as any other. the definition of true love for a fairy is so sterile and cold and rote. but maybe thats the problem. so much doesn't count. its not supposed to be about protecting a family you've grown to need, so, so much, no matter the cost in blood. and it's not supposed to be about loving someone so much, you're willing to turn back into a frog for them, even if it means letting them go. there's nothing to learn from those stories. ]
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no subject
[ he gets that. its the sort of thing he'd wished he'd had, all those years ago. and he's not good at it necessarily. he gets making mistakes. getting caught, or not saying the right things. still not being brave enough. but trying is better than nothing.
he feels terrible that he has to leave now, and there's really nothing he can do about it. it's why everyone who's ever told him that surely they'll find a loophole, some special way they just hadn't thought of, just looks meek and afraid to him. he gets it. he was the same way, once upon a time. it's trying desperately to find a reason that you don't have to try so hard for yourself.
but haru told him he has to try, so. he will. ]
I'll be back as soon as I can.
no subject
[this is still so hard, but they decided a long time ago to make it. maybe the fact that they decided to fight for themselves was selfish and maybe it wasn't, but the decision was made and it's too late to take it back. they'll save others, too, if they can, but she isn't leaving her without her team. she's just not. she'd rather be erased.]
...Still. If we have to not see each other for a while, I love you. Thanks for being my friend.
[friend isn't really all there is too it, but it's not an insignificant part, either.]
no subject
he doesn't regret the decision. it was better this way. if the heron is going to snap your spine and swallow you whole, it's better to go out facing it than cowering. at least then you see it coming. and she's right. they'll either all come back, or all be erased together. no half measures. ]
I love you too, Red. Thank you for being my friend.
[ it feels ridiculous that true love is somehow only seen as romantic love, when this feels as true as any other. the definition of true love for a fairy is so sterile and cold and rote. but maybe thats the problem. so much doesn't count. its not supposed to be about protecting a family you've grown to need, so, so much, no matter the cost in blood. and it's not supposed to be about loving someone so much, you're willing to turn back into a frog for them, even if it means letting them go. there's nothing to learn from those stories. ]
no subject
...and it works and you have to retcon a lot.]