It is. [ even though haru didn't tend to write much, because writing is also hard. expressing your thoughts and feelings in any measure is hard. but he does want to at least try and talk about this, because that letter had meant a lot to him. ] ...You'd make a good dad. If you wanted to be one.
[ once the whole thing with his marriage is sorted out, one way or another. ]
[ this is making him very emotional here amongst the bras, enough that he goes kind of quiet for a long time, but after a bit: ]
I’m not so sure, I still have things to, you know, sort out for myself. [ also the fact that probably his marriage is over, though that thought doesn’t hurt quite as bad as it did two months ago. ] But I’m glad that I got to meet you. Even if the circumstances are terrible. I’d say you should obviously come with us, but I know it’s— Well. You have a family, and a home, and I don’t want to take you from that and into some place terrible and dangerous.
[ he nods. gerard needs to find himself in colorado first. ]
Take it at your pace.
[ he wants both of them to live the lives they want. swim free. from all that he's heard from ylfa, they're fighting pretty hard for that agency over their lives, and he'd support them any way he could. but they probably don't need a swim teen. ]
...And I think my team needs me to get to nationals. [ which is nothing compared to everything that everyone else is doing, but it means a lot to him. ] I don't know what to expect when this is over. Even if it's dangerous, I'd want to see you guys again. Somehow.
[ he straight up needs to go to divorce court, move to colorado, maybe go through a phase, visit the other toy island where the boys are over 18, figure that out, and then, I don't know. consider fatherhood.
anyway he's sort of already just adopted all these kids and has to figure out how to handle that. the thing is that they do, actually, very much need these swim teens. ]
I really-- I want that for you. To go to Nationals, and argue with Rin about college, and do anything you want to do, without having to worry about big things like how many people you have to murder for life points.
I'd like to see you too. I really-- [ sorry he is the worst because he is getting a little choked up and pretending not to. ] I haven't had many friends before. And you're very important to me.
[ he can get really into craft beers for a while or something.
he's really very moved at this display of emotion, even if it's sort of crackly and requires all his focus to see. ]
...Yeah. We're friends. I love you too.
[ weirdly, it's not that hard to admit right now, even for a recalcitrant teen. maybe because of the distance of death; he doesn't want to lose the opportunity to say things. ]
I know you and Ylfa have a lot to do. Worlds to save. But I hope you can visit us, too. [ ... ] I live in a quiet town. We can go fishing. There's a squid festival every year.
[ it's a gentle life that would be nice to share. he doesn't know that it's possible—the reaper's game doesn't seem to give many options—but he likes to think that maybe, for all its abnormalities, they can wish for a little extra this time. ]
[ this is really fucking him up for a lot of different reasons, from the kind of actually easy way he says I love you as if that isn't the most meaningful thing in the world, to how much he would really, really like to go to a small town and go fishing. ]
I don't know how much I can that's safe, or-- won't get you into trouble, but, I'd very much like that. You'd have to teach me how, though, because that is not a hobby I picked up.
[ haru has had his moments of sincerity in the past, but he's only recently realized how much other people can need them. maybe telling people how much you love them is good, actually. softly, ]
You lived in a pond for that long and didn't learn how to fish?
[ jokes ]
...It's not hard. I can show you when you get back. [ because he and ylfa aren't sure about Everyone, but there's no way they won't at least get gerard and rin back. even if it's a selfish priority. ]
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It is. [ even though haru didn't tend to write much, because writing is also hard. expressing your thoughts and feelings in any measure is hard. but he does want to at least try and talk about this, because that letter had meant a lot to him. ] ...You'd make a good dad. If you wanted to be one.
[ once the whole thing with his marriage is sorted out, one way or another. ]
no subject
I’m not so sure, I still have things to, you know, sort out for myself. [ also the fact that probably his marriage is over, though that thought doesn’t hurt quite as bad as it did two months ago. ] But I’m glad that I got to meet you. Even if the circumstances are terrible. I’d say you should obviously come with us, but I know it’s— Well. You have a family, and a home, and I don’t want to take you from that and into some place terrible and dangerous.
no subject
Take it at your pace.
[ he wants both of them to live the lives they want. swim free. from all that he's heard from ylfa, they're fighting pretty hard for that agency over their lives, and he'd support them any way he could. but they probably don't need a swim teen. ]
...And I think my team needs me to get to nationals. [ which is nothing compared to everything that everyone else is doing, but it means a lot to him. ] I don't know what to expect when this is over. Even if it's dangerous, I'd want to see you guys again. Somehow.
no subject
anyway he's sort of already just adopted all these kids and has to figure out how to handle that. the thing is that they do, actually, very much need these swim teens. ]
I really-- I want that for you. To go to Nationals, and argue with Rin about college, and do anything you want to do, without having to worry about big things like how many people you have to murder for life points.
I'd like to see you too. I really-- [ sorry he is the worst because he is getting a little choked up and pretending not to. ] I haven't had many friends before. And you're very important to me.
no subject
he's really very moved at this display of emotion, even if it's sort of crackly and requires all his focus to see. ]
...Yeah. We're friends. I love you too.
[ weirdly, it's not that hard to admit right now, even for a recalcitrant teen. maybe because of the distance of death; he doesn't want to lose the opportunity to say things. ]
I know you and Ylfa have a lot to do. Worlds to save. But I hope you can visit us, too. [ ... ] I live in a quiet town. We can go fishing. There's a squid festival every year.
[ it's a gentle life that would be nice to share. he doesn't know that it's possible—the reaper's game doesn't seem to give many options—but he likes to think that maybe, for all its abnormalities, they can wish for a little extra this time. ]
no subject
I don't know how much I can that's safe, or-- won't get you into trouble, but, I'd very much like that. You'd have to teach me how, though, because that is not a hobby I picked up.
no subject
You lived in a pond for that long and didn't learn how to fish?
[ jokes ]
...It's not hard. I can show you when you get back. [ because he and ylfa aren't sure about Everyone, but there's no way they won't at least get gerard and rin back. even if it's a selfish priority. ]