I haven't done anything. I got us caught today. I couldn't even— [ do the fucking right thing and finish off fei du himself ] Ylfa needs you, Gerard. [ more hoarsely, ] ...So do I.
You'd done a lot. You keep us together. I'm a coward who barely can make himself get out of bed, sinking back into a safe pond to rot. Ylfa is a good girl, but she's fighting this wolf, every day. You're -- you keep us human. It's more important than I can possibly explain.
[ this is going to make him well up just like the other day - god, last week when he'd said something similar. but this time he can't promise to try, again. it's a little too late for trying. ]
You didn't get us caught. We got caught for a million different little reasons, and maybe some of them were your fault, and some were mine, and some where just because destiny fucking sucks ass, okay? And you're going to be alright. People will look out for you. They care about you so much, and they'll help you.
No. I'll be there tomorrow. And you're going to erase me. You and Ylfa will get back no matter what, and you'll revive Rin if you can only pick one of us.
[ he says this very firmly, with all of his usual, absolutely unfounded confidence. but he's also sounding a little desperate. ]
I'm just—being human isn't enough. You're brave. All you've ever done for us is be brave. You weren't a coward in your pond. Why can't you see that? [ why can't he see he's so much more extraordinary than haru is? ]
[ ugh. of course he understands this, because if someone asked him to erase either gerard or ylfa, he would literally rather die.
this is the worst. he didn't regret getting caught until this moment. ]
I can do it myself. I'll find a shark. I'll make one! [ he'll have the WORST vibes. just the most HEINOUS VIBES. it'll summon a shark and it'll eat him. he's naturally a very softspoken person but today he is at his limit. ] Stop acting like it has to be you!
[ you know what. he can get mad too. not at haru, just. at the situation. a ceiling exploded on him today. ]
It doesn't have to be! I know that it doesn't! It could be you and I'm sure you actually could find a shark and make it happen, but I don't want it to be you! There's got to be-- I trust you! You've got trust me too!
[ haru did that but let's not get into the weeds ]
I do trust you! [ he trusts them so much. it's crushing. he knows this is the fairest outcome, and it still feels so unfair. gerard has a point though, and haru can't really keep exploding for very long, so there's some deflating of his fighting spirit. ] ...I do trust you. I just—I don't want you to leave us.
[ cool, he's going to cry a little. he really tries so hard not to cry and would rather crawl under a porch and disassociate but right now his eyes get very hot and shiny and there's simply nothing to be done about it. ]
...You're the best teammate we could have, Gerard.
[ yeah that's alright. he's allowed to cry. gerard just reaches over to pull him into a hug, squeezing tight - this isn't something he's done to haru before, because he's kind of an independent kid, doesn't seem like he'd appreciate it too much. but gerard is the one who kind of needs it right now. ]
[ he usually doesn't hug back, because he's the worst, but he doesn't mind this. not when it's his friends. and gerard is most assuredly his very good friend, who didn't even want to kill people to begin with, and who they're definitely going to have to say goodbye to in less than a day.
he gently squeezes back, resting his head against gerard's shoulder without a care in the world about whether he's froggy-skinned or covered in ice cream. he can probably feel when haru swallows down a lump in his throat. ]
[ he really doesn't feel too much like a frog right now. a frog wouldn't care about the really sickeningly human emotion of having to say goodbye. despite how terrible everything about this is, for the first time in a long time, he feels a little bit worthy of love. not quite as cold-blooded. ... he is probably still a little covered in ice cream, though.
he doesn't let go until haru lets him. ]
I know you are. Just take care of each other. Everything's going to be okay.
[ a frog would just be speared to death by a crane beak and die before it realized what there was to say goodbye to. unfortunately, they have the whole night to agonize about it.
haru does draw back eventually, albeit miserably, wiping his eyes before he can get called out on crying. ]
...You have to do that too. If you end up with them. You have to take care of everybody.
[ he means rin, mostly, but unfortunately if there is a graveyard, gerard has a lot of people to apologize to and look after on their behalf. ]
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You can't ask me not to be mad.
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[ that's cool he can sit close by. ]
You're important to our team. I want you to know that. We wouldn't have made it this far without you, and we certainly wouldn't make it to the end.
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I haven't done anything. I got us caught today. I couldn't even— [ do the fucking right thing and finish off fei du himself ] Ylfa needs you, Gerard. [ more hoarsely, ] ...So do I.
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[ this is going to make him well up just like the other day - god, last week when he'd said something similar. but this time he can't promise to try, again. it's a little too late for trying. ]
You didn't get us caught. We got caught for a million different little reasons, and maybe some of them were your fault, and some were mine, and some where just because destiny fucking sucks ass, okay? And you're going to be alright. People will look out for you. They care about you so much, and they'll help you.
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[ he says this very firmly, with all of his usual, absolutely unfounded confidence. but he's also sounding a little desperate. ]
I'm just—being human isn't enough. You're brave. All you've ever done for us is be brave. You weren't a coward in your pond. Why can't you see that? [ why can't he see he's so much more extraordinary than haru is? ]
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[ he looks VERY ill at the idea of erasing haru. just pure blanched face drain. ]
And you know that I can't do that. Erase you. That's just not something I'm able to do.
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this is the worst. he didn't regret getting caught until this moment. ]
I can do it myself. I'll find a shark. I'll make one! [ he'll have the WORST vibes. just the most HEINOUS VIBES. it'll summon a shark and it'll eat him. he's naturally a very softspoken person but today he is at his limit. ] Stop acting like it has to be you!
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It doesn't have to be! I know that it doesn't! It could be you and I'm sure you actually could find a shark and make it happen, but I don't want it to be you! There's got to be-- I trust you! You've got trust me too!
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I do trust you! [ he trusts them so much. it's crushing. he knows this is the fairest outcome, and it still feels so unfair. gerard has a point though, and haru can't really keep exploding for very long, so there's some deflating of his fighting spirit. ] ...I do trust you. I just—I don't want you to leave us.
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I don't want to leave you either.
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...You're the best teammate we could have, Gerard.
[ he's glad he asked him to join his swim club. ]
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he gently squeezes back, resting his head against gerard's shoulder without a care in the world about whether he's froggy-skinned or covered in ice cream. he can probably feel when haru swallows down a lump in his throat. ]
We're going to get you back.
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he doesn't let go until haru lets him. ]
I know you are. Just take care of each other. Everything's going to be okay.
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haru does draw back eventually, albeit miserably, wiping his eyes before he can get called out on crying. ]
...You have to do that too. If you end up with them. You have to take care of everybody.
[ he means rin, mostly, but unfortunately if there is a graveyard, gerard has a lot of people to apologize to and look after on their behalf. ]